Unexpected Holiday!

So this year Thanksgiving break had a mind of its own. My plans had me heading home for a family filled holiday. I was so excited to see my family, both immediate and distant i couldn't stand it. But like i said the holiday break has its own mind and chose otherwise for me. I had a great few days in Provo with a special someone and a beloved sister and Sunday night the news came. My ride had some family thing to deal with and would no longer be heading to California as previously planned. I was sad, yes, and even shed a few tears but none the less it all turned out well. I was able to spend some extra time with my special someone and even more time with my sister and her husband. We played board games, we went to craft stores, almost made a blanket, i even played at a few parks.Truthfully the week was different and there wasn't Pumpkin pie on thanksgiving but it was so good and turned out well. And for those of you who are reading this, no I'm not engaged and i don't have a boyfriend but I'm talking to someone whom i care for very much. We are both taking it slow and one day at a time. So don't ask, no need to worry, no marriage for me, for a LONG time!

It was so much fun on Wed. Allison Bockholt and Lizzy Brambila and I got together and did some holiday cooking, it amazed us how long we'd known each other. I'll be honest the Pies we made were delicious!! # yummy Apple Pies and several house of laughter later, it was a great day! Well everyone who i spent time with thanks for the great time, Happy Holidays! ( Pictures coming soon)

Calender:

• Utah Dec. 12
  Home Dec. 15
• Christmas Dec 25!

I can't wait to spend time with my family again! We will see what the next few weeks brings. There is so much potential!

Quotes of the Blog

"life is only awkward if you make it that way"-Dan Garner

"Christ can calms the waves, but sometimes he just calms the sailor"-Sacrament Speaker

-A.Kerr

Craving Change

Life is great and really i don't have much to complain about but today i find myself seriously craving change. And the hardest part of this craving is i don't know how to cure it. I could dye my hair, or cut it, make a new friend, or i don't know. I went about my day just feeling like something wasn't right with the world and all i wanted was to know what it was. Am i being selfish? I kind of am having one of those moments where i just want someone to hold me, so that even for a moment i can just let go.
I went for a run tonight, trying to clear my mind. I haven't run for nearly 4 months. It felt great but my body still isn't the same. I'm sure I'll be sore in the morning, but none the less despite the aching ankle and cold lungs it felt good to get out, to break up my thoughts with the pounding of my feet on the ground. With each step i was able to break up my thoughts, for just a moment, but it was a moment of much needed relief. I wonder if maybe I'm such an independent person because I'm so afraid of relying upon someone else and being let down. Maybe that is really what i am so afraid of. If i don't put myself on the line i am not letting someone let me fall. well these were just some thoughts. Wanted to get them out. I am still craving change, and if its God's Will it will happen. But all i can do is put my faith in him and it will work out. He is one person who i dont mind depending on because he will never let me down!
Well I'm gonna get some sleep start a new day and work on being the change i want to see. I might be craving chance but this is all my choice. I can do anything. Faith, sometimes its blind
A Kerr

maybe

I think the trickiest word in the English language is Maybe. Well at least one of them. I was thinking about that today, Maybe. It can be used to mean so many things. Some good some bad, all none the less have this possibility factor and its tricky. If you go through a single day and ask yourself how many times you SAY maybe or Hear it, you'd be surprised. Are we some kind of people afraid to commit to words like yes and no? Or is maybe its just a habit we have. hm, none the less, that is my current thought. MAYBE its the simplest way to answer but hardest word to read. Great word when you aren't sure, but its tricky too. How many times do you say maybe? Maybe a lot maybe a little. Maybe
A. Kerr

quote of the day: " Be the change you want to see in this world "- Gandhi courtesy of Jake Ballentine

Communication!

The power of communication is so amazing. Bad communication can have more consequences then thought possible, and good communication can being about so much good. I am writing briefly to say I am grateful for communication. I got a chance to sit and talk with someone last night and when I walked away at the end I didn't feel like our conversation was missing anything. We were both open and honest and for once i wasn't afraid to just say what was on my mind. We talked about the most random topics but still it helped us get to know each other on a new level which was truly appreciated. Even silent communication can say so much. A good friends is someone who when you're together you say absolutely nothing, yet something is clearly understood. So today, i am grateful for good communication and honesty. if you think something, don't be afraid to say it, I'd rather know I'm OK talking with you about anything then fearing I didn't say enough at all.

Communication, it takes you places

"Mary did you know"

Its just another day. So I didn't think i get sick very often. Well I've since taken a better look and realised i get sick more often then i realise. 2 weeks ago a had a cold that royally sucked, and then the last few days I've had some form of the flu. Oh man, I hate being sick. I'm feeling better yes, but none the less i still have that sick to my stomach feeling, and i Don't like it.
Last week i had a conversation with a friend about being Spiritually Numb. You get so used to feeling the spirit that you almost feel numb. I mean your doing everything right, doing all the things your supposed to but nothing seems to give you that great feeling. There are a few moments but mainly your just there. Those truly are some of the hardest times to exist. Although yes, its hard and undoubtedly it stinks to feel numb to everything, I guess we should be grateful at the same time, right? We are used to the spirit, so it isn't absent. Its all a leaarned experience, even though i feel like i'm doing all i can do, there is more to be done. I am learning so much, yet i know i have more yet to learn
Lately I've been contemplating a lot on the birth of the Savior. The song " Mary did you know" and " I stand all amazed" have been ringing through my mind. I imagine as i sing " i Stand all amazed" that i was there as Mary Magdalene, standing amazed at the foot of the cross reminiscing and standing amazed at the love he showed for me, a sinner. The whole song means so much to me as i think of what he did for me. Then the song Mary did you know. I know Mary knew she was giving birth to the savior of the world, but really did she understand all it pertained. I am looking forward to this Christmas. As I get older Family really is just becoming more and more important to me. I miss each of them so much and i treasure the time i spent with them.
Well i guess i can end this post. I just wanted to blog for a moment, and kill time before class. I hope you know that I know that my Savior lives. Through him my righteous desires are possible. I pray that I will humble enough for him to lead me.
sincerely
a. kerr

On Top Of it!

Oh man, So its been a wonderful today. I finished my last midterm last night and now I can say I'm half way done. The semesters seem to go fast, and its really hard to believe I'm a junior in college and already trying to plan out Grad School. Oh Dang. So I feel like I'm on top of the world right now. Even though I'm sitting at work doing virtually nothing, its been a wonderful day. It all started at 7 am, when i actually got out of bed on time and was determined to make today great. I got ready did hw, and was totally on top of it. I even got everything, well just about, done that i had planned.
I don't know how to explain it exactly but yeah. Its been a good day and I've been in a great mood! On Monday my Ward had a Halloween party. lol It was so much fun! Two of my friends, Michelle, Jessica, and I, all dressed up like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was Hilarious! Somehow we squeezed our 20 year old selves into 6 year old boy's consumes. It really was a lot of fun and if i do say so, it was quite a hit. Oh how fun Halloween can be.
Next Item to Discuss is my class project for Religion 264 project. To say the least I'm a little excited! What i am doing is a "Mass Scripture Marking". OK so here it is, what i am doing is taking 6-8 hrs and marking my scriptures. The current quad that I have i got when i was about 8. Its quite well marked, with things from over the years, so i went and bought a military sized Book of Mormon( about the size of a very small book) and I am going to go through the two and transfer the scriptures I marked from one to the other. I am hoping that this will help me be able to take the scriptures with me everywhere. It will be my Travel size! Its been a lot of fun so far. I am marking different subjects in different colors and adding little captions to help me find scriptures faster. Its fun to see what I've marked over the years. One of the things I've loved throughout my study of this prophetic book is that you can read a verse a hundred times and it can have a different meaning to you each time. It always says the same thing, and teaches the doctrine but how your interpret it is always specific to your need and interpretation of the spirit at that time. So If you wanna send me your Fav Book of Mormon Scripture I'd appreciate it. Thanks!
PS- I'm wearing the Halloween socks my mom sent me in a package.
(Socks make me happy:)

Putting my Red High Heels on!

Well Its October and i'm 20! I can't believe i'm in my twenties. Its a little weird to admit. But none the less it feels good and I'm moving onward. Life has been moving so fast but still not much has changed. I put high Heels on for the first time in 3 months this month and its been great. I've chosen to walk talk with my red heels on.
This weekend had been quite traumatic though, one of my Best friends Morgan's roommate died on Friday in a car accident. Then yesterday MY roommate Carrie Broke her neck in a 4-wheeling accident. Carrie is doing well and has no Paralysis, but still it was shocking to find out. In the last 24-hrs i've been the hospital twice and its been interesting, She is a truly loved girl, and even though this is going to have a trail, she is extremely blessed, she easily could have been killed. So please keep her in your prayers.
Here are a few updates on me, So i turn 20 on Oct, 4th. It was a very relaxed day, it being conference weekend and all, but it was great none the less. Morgan and I got pedicures between sessions and then got all dolled up and went out to dinner. Over all is was a great Birthday. Last weekend my Mom was able to come up from California which was awesome. Sadly it ended up being the only weekend so far this semester in which it snowed. Funny how that works. So she froze but it was so great having her here.
I stopped going to Physical therapy about a week or so ago, and i can still feel things being tight but I'm trying to stay active and make it work none the less. I've been blessed to say the least. Work has been going well, I kind of was given a Promotion. I am now going to start training to do the billing and paperwork. So that's cool, and oh yeah, I got the R.A. Job for my complex for next semester. I'm trying to figure out if i should do EFY next summer or not. I think I'll apply and see what happens. It was a great Job, and i love the youth so we'll see. Dating, well my Ex Came up this weekend but i was So busy i only saw him for a few hrs. He has really grown up but there are somethings he does that makes him still seem like a teenager to me (by the way he is about 2 yrs older then I) and other then that I'm just playing hard to get for one boy, and nothing other then that. So pretty much I'm still more single then ever but I'm dealing OK with it.
I want to just stop and thank my heavenly father for a loving family I've been blessed with, Also for prayer. Especially in times of trial we tend to turn to our father in heaven but i am so grateful to have the knowledge that he is there and he understands. My savior Jesus Christ knows all i have been though and will yet experience, even though i do not know the trials to come i know that because was able to endure it, with his help so can I.
Someday I will find a husband who loves me, who doesn't make fun of me so it hurts, and who knows how to make me laugh, and most of all who makes me want to be better. Until that day i will continue working on becoming the person i want to be. Until then, God be with you till I write again.
A.Kerr