Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Craving Change

Life is great and really i don't have much to complain about but today i find myself seriously craving change. And the hardest part of this craving is i don't know how to cure it. I could dye my hair, or cut it, make a new friend, or i don't know. I went about my day just feeling like something wasn't right with the world and all i wanted was to know what it was. Am i being selfish? I kind of am having one of those moments where i just want someone to hold me, so that even for a moment i can just let go.
I went for a run tonight, trying to clear my mind. I haven't run for nearly 4 months. It felt great but my body still isn't the same. I'm sure I'll be sore in the morning, but none the less despite the aching ankle and cold lungs it felt good to get out, to break up my thoughts with the pounding of my feet on the ground. With each step i was able to break up my thoughts, for just a moment, but it was a moment of much needed relief. I wonder if maybe I'm such an independent person because I'm so afraid of relying upon someone else and being let down. Maybe that is really what i am so afraid of. If i don't put myself on the line i am not letting someone let me fall. well these were just some thoughts. Wanted to get them out. I am still craving change, and if its God's Will it will happen. But all i can do is put my faith in him and it will work out. He is one person who i dont mind depending on because he will never let me down!
Well I'm gonna get some sleep start a new day and work on being the change i want to see. I might be craving chance but this is all my choice. I can do anything. Faith, sometimes its blind
A Kerr

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I think the trickiest word in the English language is Maybe. Well at least one of them. I was thinking about that today, Maybe. It can be used to mean so many things. Some good some bad, all none the less have this possibility factor and its tricky. If you go through a single day and ask yourself how many times you SAY maybe or Hear it, you'd be surprised. Are we some kind of people afraid to commit to words like yes and no? Or is maybe its just a habit we have. hm, none the less, that is my current thought. MAYBE its the simplest way to answer but hardest word to read. Great word when you aren't sure, but its tricky too. How many times do you say maybe? Maybe a lot maybe a little. Maybe
A. Kerr

quote of the day: " Be the change you want to see in this world "- Gandhi courtesy of Jake Ballentine

Monday, November 10, 2008


The power of communication is so amazing. Bad communication can have more consequences then thought possible, and good communication can being about so much good. I am writing briefly to say I am grateful for communication. I got a chance to sit and talk with someone last night and when I walked away at the end I didn't feel like our conversation was missing anything. We were both open and honest and for once i wasn't afraid to just say what was on my mind. We talked about the most random topics but still it helped us get to know each other on a new level which was truly appreciated. Even silent communication can say so much. A good friends is someone who when you're together you say absolutely nothing, yet something is clearly understood. So today, i am grateful for good communication and honesty. if you think something, don't be afraid to say it, I'd rather know I'm OK talking with you about anything then fearing I didn't say enough at all.
Communication, it takes you places

Friday, November 7, 2008

"Mary did you know"

Its just another day. So I didn't think i get sick very often. Well I've since taken a better look and realised i get sick more often then i realise. 2 weeks ago a had a cold that royally sucked, and then the last few days I've had some form of the flu. Oh man, I hate being sick. I'm feeling better yes, but none the less i still have that sick to my stomach feeling, and i Don't like it.
Last week i had a conversation with a friend about being Spiritually Numb. You get so used to feeling the spirit that you almost feel numb. I mean your doing everything right, doing all the things your supposed to but nothing seems to give you that great feeling. There are a few moments but mainly your just there. Those truly are some of the hardest times to exist. Although yes, its hard and undoubtedly it stinks to feel numb to everything, I guess we should be grateful at the same time, right? We are used to the spirit, so it isn't absent. Its all a leaarned experience, even though i feel like i'm doing all i can do, there is more to be done. I am learning so much, yet i know i have more yet to learn
Lately I've been contemplating a lot on the birth of the Savior. The song " Mary did you know" and " I stand all amazed" have been ringing through my mind. I imagine as i sing " i Stand all amazed" that i was there as Mary Magdalene, standing amazed at the foot of the cross reminiscing and standing amazed at the love he showed for me, a sinner. The whole song means so much to me as i think of what he did for me. Then the song Mary did you know. I know Mary knew she was giving birth to the savior of the world, but really did she understand all it pertained. I am looking forward to this Christmas. As I get older Family really is just becoming more and more important to me. I miss each of them so much and i treasure the time i spent with them.
Well i guess i can end this post. I just wanted to blog for a moment, and kill time before class. I hope you know that I know that my Savior lives. Through him my righteous desires are possible. I pray that I will humble enough for him to lead me.
a. kerr