Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Craving Change

Life is great and really i don't have much to complain about but today i find myself seriously craving change. And the hardest part of this craving is i don't know how to cure it. I could dye my hair, or cut it, make a new friend, or i don't know. I went about my day just feeling like something wasn't right with the world and all i wanted was to know what it was. Am i being selfish? I kind of am having one of those moments where i just want someone to hold me, so that even for a moment i can just let go.
I went for a run tonight, trying to clear my mind. I haven't run for nearly 4 months. It felt great but my body still isn't the same. I'm sure I'll be sore in the morning, but none the less despite the aching ankle and cold lungs it felt good to get out, to break up my thoughts with the pounding of my feet on the ground. With each step i was able to break up my thoughts, for just a moment, but it was a moment of much needed relief. I wonder if maybe I'm such an independent person because I'm so afraid of relying upon someone else and being let down. Maybe that is really what i am so afraid of. If i don't put myself on the line i am not letting someone let me fall. well these were just some thoughts. Wanted to get them out. I am still craving change, and if its God's Will it will happen. But all i can do is put my faith in him and it will work out. He is one person who i dont mind depending on because he will never let me down!
Well I'm gonna get some sleep start a new day and work on being the change i want to see. I might be craving chance but this is all my choice. I can do anything. Faith, sometimes its blind
A Kerr

1 comment:

Kristine McNairy said...

sure miss ya kid! I kid send you a nickel and a dime if you want some change! sorry, my sense of humor is like a 5 year old. Have a good day