Happy New Years

So i'm sitting here in rexburg with Strep Throat and getting ready for a new year and new semester, and a great year. Wow i can't believe it's 2009 already. I am looking forward to the year ahead of me. I have a good feeling about this one. I am taking another 15 credits so its going to be fun. And my apartment is going to be fun. I'm rooming with some old friends from freshman year so its going to be fun. this year had to have been my favorite Christmas. It was a bittersweet holiday, but still somehow my favorite. The time i spent with my family this year was priceless. Christmas eve was the really Family day. My siblings and i all met at our parents home and just spent the day together and played games and made food. a wild idea i know, lol the kerrs making more food. I guess it's just something we do. Anyways my parents did something for us this year that i will never forget. My parents wrote each child a personalized letter. Reading the special words and thoughts brought tears to my eyes. I am grateful that i have this to take with me. that was the big sweet, but the sour was a death in the home ward. A young man who was only 18 died from a accidental drug and alcohol overdose. The family had a very hard time, as well as the rest of the ward. A untimely death is hard for anyone to handle. It had all been very sad, but the funeral seemed to bring peace to many people. I can only pray that the youth i was involved in this summer are making good friends and avoiding these kinds of situations.

Well that is enough of 2008, it is now 2009. Last year was a year of lessons and now i have a year of possiblities. I pray that i will be able to live my life to the best of my abilities and let the lord guide me where he wants me to go. Happy new year everyone!

A Troubled Mind

I find that my mind is troubled today. I'm sitting in the computer lab between classes and was going to work on an Exam when i decided writing everything out might be a bit more beneficial. Life is so good, but some how i feel myself wanting to take a vacation from it all. That or have my life map laid out in front of me so i could understand it all a little better. At the end of every semester I find that an apartment fill of girls hits the roof. There is always something said or done that offends one person or the other and when clean checks come around it can be a high stress or contentious situation. I am so grateful for the calming power of prayer. I really REALLY am! I am not the perfect pray-er but at the same time i know how to utilize the privilege. IF there is one thing i truly don't like it is the feeling contention with in my heart. I was praying so hard the other day to not feel upset about some measly things. All my responses to life are my own choice. I may not have control over my circumstances or the actions of others but i will always have the power as to how i choose to deal with them! I guess i should be running to class and try to silently confront this troubled mind of mine. Life is what we make it, are we going to take chances, or watch them be taken? Are we going to be the cause of a problem or the solution? Life, its our choice, how do you plan on living it?
A. Kerr

Unexpected Holiday!

So this year Thanksgiving break had a mind of its own. My plans had me heading home for a family filled holiday. I was so excited to see my family, both immediate and distant i couldn't stand it. But like i said the holiday break has its own mind and chose otherwise for me. I had a great few days in Provo with a special someone and a beloved sister and Sunday night the news came. My ride had some family thing to deal with and would no longer be heading to California as previously planned. I was sad, yes, and even shed a few tears but none the less it all turned out well. I was able to spend some extra time with my special someone and even more time with my sister and her husband. We played board games, we went to craft stores, almost made a blanket, i even played at a few parks.Truthfully the week was different and there wasn't Pumpkin pie on thanksgiving but it was so good and turned out well. And for those of you who are reading this, no I'm not engaged and i don't have a boyfriend but I'm talking to someone whom i care for very much. We are both taking it slow and one day at a time. So don't ask, no need to worry, no marriage for me, for a LONG time!

It was so much fun on Wed. Allison Bockholt and Lizzy Brambila and I got together and did some holiday cooking, it amazed us how long we'd known each other. I'll be honest the Pies we made were delicious!! # yummy Apple Pies and several house of laughter later, it was a great day! Well everyone who i spent time with thanks for the great time, Happy Holidays! ( Pictures coming soon)

Calender:

• Utah Dec. 12
  Home Dec. 15
• Christmas Dec 25!

I can't wait to spend time with my family again! We will see what the next few weeks brings. There is so much potential!

Quotes of the Blog

"life is only awkward if you make it that way"-Dan Garner

"Christ can calms the waves, but sometimes he just calms the sailor"-Sacrament Speaker

-A.Kerr

Craving Change

Life is great and really i don't have much to complain about but today i find myself seriously craving change. And the hardest part of this craving is i don't know how to cure it. I could dye my hair, or cut it, make a new friend, or i don't know. I went about my day just feeling like something wasn't right with the world and all i wanted was to know what it was. Am i being selfish? I kind of am having one of those moments where i just want someone to hold me, so that even for a moment i can just let go.
I went for a run tonight, trying to clear my mind. I haven't run for nearly 4 months. It felt great but my body still isn't the same. I'm sure I'll be sore in the morning, but none the less despite the aching ankle and cold lungs it felt good to get out, to break up my thoughts with the pounding of my feet on the ground. With each step i was able to break up my thoughts, for just a moment, but it was a moment of much needed relief. I wonder if maybe I'm such an independent person because I'm so afraid of relying upon someone else and being let down. Maybe that is really what i am so afraid of. If i don't put myself on the line i am not letting someone let me fall. well these were just some thoughts. Wanted to get them out. I am still craving change, and if its God's Will it will happen. But all i can do is put my faith in him and it will work out. He is one person who i dont mind depending on because he will never let me down!
Well I'm gonna get some sleep start a new day and work on being the change i want to see. I might be craving chance but this is all my choice. I can do anything. Faith, sometimes its blind
A Kerr

maybe

I think the trickiest word in the English language is Maybe. Well at least one of them. I was thinking about that today, Maybe. It can be used to mean so many things. Some good some bad, all none the less have this possibility factor and its tricky. If you go through a single day and ask yourself how many times you SAY maybe or Hear it, you'd be surprised. Are we some kind of people afraid to commit to words like yes and no? Or is maybe its just a habit we have. hm, none the less, that is my current thought. MAYBE its the simplest way to answer but hardest word to read. Great word when you aren't sure, but its tricky too. How many times do you say maybe? Maybe a lot maybe a little. Maybe
A. Kerr

quote of the day: " Be the change you want to see in this world "- Gandhi courtesy of Jake Ballentine

Communication!

The power of communication is so amazing. Bad communication can have more consequences then thought possible, and good communication can being about so much good. I am writing briefly to say I am grateful for communication. I got a chance to sit and talk with someone last night and when I walked away at the end I didn't feel like our conversation was missing anything. We were both open and honest and for once i wasn't afraid to just say what was on my mind. We talked about the most random topics but still it helped us get to know each other on a new level which was truly appreciated. Even silent communication can say so much. A good friends is someone who when you're together you say absolutely nothing, yet something is clearly understood. So today, i am grateful for good communication and honesty. if you think something, don't be afraid to say it, I'd rather know I'm OK talking with you about anything then fearing I didn't say enough at all.

Communication, it takes you places

"Mary did you know"

Its just another day. So I didn't think i get sick very often. Well I've since taken a better look and realised i get sick more often then i realise. 2 weeks ago a had a cold that royally sucked, and then the last few days I've had some form of the flu. Oh man, I hate being sick. I'm feeling better yes, but none the less i still have that sick to my stomach feeling, and i Don't like it.
Last week i had a conversation with a friend about being Spiritually Numb. You get so used to feeling the spirit that you almost feel numb. I mean your doing everything right, doing all the things your supposed to but nothing seems to give you that great feeling. There are a few moments but mainly your just there. Those truly are some of the hardest times to exist. Although yes, its hard and undoubtedly it stinks to feel numb to everything, I guess we should be grateful at the same time, right? We are used to the spirit, so it isn't absent. Its all a leaarned experience, even though i feel like i'm doing all i can do, there is more to be done. I am learning so much, yet i know i have more yet to learn
Lately I've been contemplating a lot on the birth of the Savior. The song " Mary did you know" and " I stand all amazed" have been ringing through my mind. I imagine as i sing " i Stand all amazed" that i was there as Mary Magdalene, standing amazed at the foot of the cross reminiscing and standing amazed at the love he showed for me, a sinner. The whole song means so much to me as i think of what he did for me. Then the song Mary did you know. I know Mary knew she was giving birth to the savior of the world, but really did she understand all it pertained. I am looking forward to this Christmas. As I get older Family really is just becoming more and more important to me. I miss each of them so much and i treasure the time i spent with them.
Well i guess i can end this post. I just wanted to blog for a moment, and kill time before class. I hope you know that I know that my Savior lives. Through him my righteous desires are possible. I pray that I will humble enough for him to lead me.
sincerely
a. kerr